Chapter 6

The Last Page bookstore in London was crowded with people on a rainy Saturday afternoon.  Every table in the coffee shop at the rear of store was occupied as Millicent quickly put sugar in her tea and made her way to the office in the back room.  After three years of working as a clerk, the owner promoted her to daytime manager.  With the promotion came more responsibility, including making recommendations for new books.  Millicent sat down at her desk and started going through press releases from publishing houses wanting to get their books into the store.

The first person Millicent called after getting the promotion was John.  He was proud of her and had flowers delivered to the store to congratulate her.  In the three years since she’d left Land’s End Millicent had been back only once but John had been to London to visit three times, twice with Sophie.  Each time he had been amazed at the transformation in Millicent.

Millicent never regretted leaving Land’s End.  She had a job and a place to live and even a few friends.  For the first time since before George, Millicent felt happy, really happy.  She no longer locked herself away from people and the world.  She enjoyed taking long walks through Hyde Park in the spring and wasn’t bothered by the crowded Underground in the winter.  She had even gone on a few dates.  Her co-worker Betsy convinced her to get her hair cut and styled. Millicent got Lasik to replace her glasses and a new wardrobe.  She even visited a plastic surgeon that was able to reduce the visibility of her scar.

Betsy was Millicent’s best friend.  The petite blond from Manchester shared Millicent’s love of books but was much more outgoing than Millicent, even with her new confidence.  Betsy had wicked sense of humor and made Millicent laugh.  Sometimes they would have pajama parties and watch Hugh Grant movies all night.  Other times Betsy would drag Millicent to a club and they would dance like crazy teenagers, not caring what other people thought of them.  Millicent had finally moved on with her life.  Betsy never asked Millicent about her past and Millicent was 

Millicent was so busy reading she didn’t hear Betsy come into the office.

“What are you still doing here?” Betsy asked.  “Weren’t you supposed to go home thirty minutes ago?”

Millicent looked at the clock.  “I didn’t realize how late it was.”

“Here,” Betsy said, giving Millicent her raincoat and umbrella.  “It’s still pouring out there.  Are we still on for tomorrow?”

“Yes, seven o’clock, your place,” Millicent said.

“Don’t forget the popcorn.  I ran out after our last marathon.”  Betsy left Millicent and went back to the cash register at the front of the store.  The store was still crowded as Millicent walked out of the office.  She had gone only a few steps when she saw him.

Andrew had just come around the corner and was looking at a display of new best sellers.  Millicent quickly turned around and retreated back into the office.  She hadn’t seen him since that evening in the garden.  The evening he told her he was leaving Flora and knew about George. 

When Millicent cam e to London she made no attempt to contact Andrew in Oxford.  She still had his telephone number but she knew she would never call him.  He left with Flora that night and Millicent knew she’s missed her chance and wasn’t going to look back.  But now, three years later, there he was.  Millicent cracked the door open slightly and peered out.

He was just as handsome as she remembered.  His hair was little longer and damp from the rain.  He was wearing a navy blue suit, a striped tie that was slightly undone and carried a briefcase and a wet, gray trench coat.

Millicent closed the door, took a deep breath and contemplated what to do.  She could either hide in the office until he was gone or take a chance and walk out, hoping he wouldn’t see her.  It was silly for her to hide so she opened the door and walked out.  Andrew was gone.  Millicent quickly made her way to the front of the store just in time to see Andrew walk outside past the front window.
“Stay dry,” Betsy said from the register.

“Yeah, I will,” Millicent said.  She walked out onto the sidewalk, put her umbrella up and walked off in the opposite direction.

* * *

For the next four days Andrew was all Millicent could think of.  She thought she saw him everywhere she went, in the bookstore, in the market, on the Underground.  And she dreamed about him every night.  One night she dreamt they were getting married in the garden at Wainwright Manor.  In another dream she was a nanny for Andrew and Flora’s four children.  Last night’s dream she was running all over London trying to find him.  And when she found him he laughed at her.  Millicent tried to keep busy by working extra hours at the bookstore.  At home she watched television show she normally wouldn’t watch just to keep her mind occupied.  But nothing seemed to work.

What was he doing in London?  Why wasn’t he in Oxford with Flora?  He could just be in town for business, Millicent reasoned.  Or maybe Flora finally left her husband and the two had moved to London with Flora’s son.  Millicent was making herself crazy thinking about it and realized she was becoming the old Millicent from Land’s End.  A woman who hid behind books and obsessed about a man who had just being nice.

But exactly one week later she saw him again.  Millicent was leaving the store to go home and there he was.  This time he was sitting in the coffee shop.  He was wearing a different suit but Millicent would have recognized him anywhere.  He was reading a book and drinking coffee.

Once again Millicent retreated back into the office without Andrew seeing her.  What were the chances, Millicent thought.  If she didn’t talked to him this time she knew she might never get the chance again.  And she didn’t know how many days she’d spend seeing him everywhere and how many night she’d been dreaming about him.  She took a deep breath and walked over to his table.

“Hello, Andrew,” Millicent said.

Andrew looked up and Millicent could see the shock on his face but recognized her instantly.

“Millicent,” Andrew said getting up from his seat.  “I can’t believe it.”  Andrew wasn’t sure he should hug her or shake her hand.  In the end he did neither.  “Sit down.  How are you?  What are you doing here?”

“I work here,” Millicent said.  “I’m the daytime manager.”

“That’s fantastic.  So you live in London now?  How long have you been here?”

            “It’s been three years.”

            Andrew did the math in his head and realized it had been three years since he’d last seen her.  He realized she must have left Wainwright Manor soon after he did.

“How are you?  How is John?”

“I’m fine.   John’s doing well.”

“Good.”

The two sat in awkward silence for a few minutes.

“What are you reading?” Millicent asked.  

“Oh, Empire Falls by Richard Russo.”

           
“Another Pulitzer Prize winner.”

           
“Yes.  A couple of years ago I met this amazing woman who introduced me to a whole new world of books,” Andrew said.  Millicent smiled.

           
“Well I’m glad to see you’re still reading.”

           
 Andrew took a sip of his coffee.  “I’ve actually been thinking about you a lot this week.  I always wanted the opportunity to apologize for the way things ended.”

           
“You leaving was probably the best thing that could have happened,” Millicent said.

           
“Really?”

           
 “At the time, when I came home and John told me you’d left with Flora, I didn’t think so.  But now, I probably wouldn’t be where I am if you hadn’t left.”

           
“I’m glad things worked out for you.  You look . . . great,” Andrew said.  “You cut your hair and no more glasses.”

           
Millicent’s hand went up to smooth her hair.  Although she was happy, her work was great, and she had friends, Millicent still hadn’t ventured into any serious relationships since coming to London.  She never wanted to rush into anything.

           
“How’s Flora?” Millicent asked.

           
“Flora is, well . . . things are pretty much the same.”

           
Millicent noticed that something had changed in Andrew when she asked about Flora.  He didn’t smile when he spoke of her and she suspected he wasn’t happy.

           
“I see,” Millicent said. “Well, I guess I’d better be going.”

           
She got up from the table and started to leave when Andrew got up and grabbed her arm.

           
“Wait,” he said.  “I am really glad we bumped into each other, and well, would you have lunch with me tomorrow?”

           
Millicent was surprised by the request.  She has expected him to say all the appropriate things and then she’d never see him again.  She expected closure, not an invitation to lunch.  Her first instinct was to decline, she wanted her life to move forward, not dwell in the past but instead she found herself agreeing to meet him the next day at a café down the street.

* * *

Andrew had just walked in the door of his flat when his phone rang.

           
“Hello darling.  How was your day?”

           
“Actually Flora, it was pretty good,” Andrew said, hanging up his coat.

           
“And what are you up to tonight?”

           
“Some dinner, probably some television.  What about you?”

           
“It’s parent-teacher night at Matthew’s school,” Flora said.  “Maybe I can get out early and come see you for an hour before going home.”

           
After Andrew left Land’s End, Flora’s husband Ian had been transferred to London.  His current employer had not been too happy when Andrew had left Wainwright Manor before the job was done and he was let go.  He decided to follow Flora to London and find another job.

           
“It’s okay if you can’t,” Andrew said.  “We’re still on for Friday night, right?’

           
“Yes, I told Ian I was going to a spa in Berkshire with a friend and we’d be spending the night.”

           
“Then I’ll see you Friday.  Just let yourself in.”

           
“I will, love.  See you then.”

           
Andrew went to the kitchen and opened the fridge.  He took out a beer and a carton of leftover chicken curry.  He grabbed a fork from the drawer and sat down at the table.  Seeing Millicent had through him for a loop.  Twenty minutes earlier he found himself riding the District Line going the wrong way.  Andrew chewed a mouthful of cold curry and replayed the meeting in his head.

           
Millicent seemed more confident, more self-assured.  He could still see the scar on her face but it was much less noticeably.  Overall she looked better, like she’d taken some interest in her appearance and was just healthier.  After Andrew had returned to Oxford with Flora he tried to figure out a way to convince Millicent that she was wrong, he didn’t pity or feel sorry for her.  Several times he picked up the phone and dialed the manor’s number only to hang up after one ring.  He didn’t know what to say to her.  He tried writing letters but ended up filling his wastebasket with crumpled paper.  If he loved her, she should have been able to tell her.  As time when by Andrew began to think that maybe he didn’t love her after all.  He gave up trying to call and writing letters.  After moving to London he went back to a normal routine, work and seeing Flora whenever she could get away.

           
Sometimes Andrew felt as if he’d never gone to Land’s End, had never met Millicent.  His life was exactly the same as before, just in a different city.  After seeing Millicent, Andrew realized nothing had really changed and, most importantly, nothing in his life had gotten better.  He still couldn’t go out in public with Flora, couldn’t go to a restaurant or take a walk in Holland Park.  He had no future with Flora and she would never leave Ian to be with him.  They would never have a family of their own.  All of a sudden Andrew felt like he had wasted that last three years of his life. 

He threw away the empty beer bottle and the curry into the trash.  He knew he was going to make a decision that was change his life.  And this time he was going to do it right.